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Secret Hiding Place

by Cottontail

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1.
there are moments on the road when you forget you're driving. pretty soon you're arriving at the place you will rest your head. there are moments in the night when you're through with thinking, pretty soon you're drinking, wishing you were warm in bed. home is a place of solace and fear. the desire once lived to get far away from here. there are portions of dreams that later in the day you recall and replay wishing you'd remember more. there are portions of the day when you want will exceed the things that you need, compromises to explore. motion is a place of freedom and dread. an unsettling comfort in what lies ahead.
2.
cardboard boxes from this mornings delivery thrown all around. intercept the dishwasher before she begins to break them down. route around and pick a few from the pile. run thank those waiting back up front for their patience, and do it with a smile. pace back and forth like a lion in a cage. treat the customers like you've been working for a living wage. alarm goes off check the oven. phone rings pick it up. charge thirty cents for every water cup. it adds up. when they ask how you're doing it's your job to say just fine. and they leave we can finally begin to wrap up the line. restock napkins and utensils, sweep and mop the floor. count the change in the register and don't forget to lock the door. steal every fucking thing you can before you quit.
3.
Reroute 04:18
here i sit wondering out baking in the sun. where to begin when you feel so thoroughly done? and you just wanna leave, but what come next you just can't conceive. so you blow off everything between here and there, you can't find the motivation to care. when you reach out and come up empty 100 times too many. you try something but it don't work out so toss the map that put you on that route. it don't matter if it hurts or not. you gave it your best shot. here i sit fearing highway miles and the day i say its been a while. but i can't let this stagnancy roll on and on indefinitely. who knows if enough is ever enough. i can't get hung up on that sorta stuff. i could agonize over where to place blame with the outcome remaining the same.
4.
explain who i am and how to interact with you. authenticity: your unshakable truth. i've taken note of what causes your reality to shake: the way bodies touch, that firm handshake. an embrace was misplaced and i found it's nothing but fiction on which this policy is based. now the words sound absurd, torn apart, over again, in my mind, forever blurred. where does responsibility belong? you are so thoroughly wrong. the level of intimacy which you'll approve. authenticity: something to prove. i've taken note of the behaviors to avoid; to at least recognize if not leave behind completely destroyed. the adjectives placed alongside the gender with which we are taught they should belong. now the words sound absurd, torn apart, over again, in my mind, forever blurred.
5.
for every year you spend wandering through space you take a step down here in this place. feeling left behind after a brief taste of snow with nowhere in particular in mind to go. i've watched the moon rise or set one hundred times with you long before i'll figure out my next practical move because folks like us shouldn't run so fast if we want our hearts to last. the days have been flying by. the air is cold, lonely, and dry. i watch a wave of sadness pass over your face. a scene that laughter can soon replace. i know it's hard trying to not be scare of uncertainty and feeling so unprepared. but folks like us, we will find a way. even if that means remaining stray.
6.
the look on faces proclaiming my it sure has been some time and the challenges in reading all the words between the lines. the letters you didn't write, hung up on each uncertainty, filtered out of relevance in the depths of your memory. remind yourself it's okay to take a risk here and there. to dabble in the things you normally wouldn't dare. within the places from which you've run, nothing haunts like what you could've done. the shaking sound of voices re-familiarizing each with the other, steadily reviving a comfort with the nuances expressed in each exchange. afraid, because after all, we know that people change.
7.
Neon Lights 03:25
8.
Collision 03:10
your mind awake, your eyes fully engaged with the touch of a brush to a page. when you grab the attention of the part of you that matters you can feel the fear and dread that shatters. there is no secret path to success that you can follow. the words of the policeman and the therapist ring hollow because no one can tell you just to take some time and we all lead a life of crime. hung up on each decision and each idea tossed around. put your mind down this once, pick your heart up off the ground. i saw that look on your face, a moment unlike the rest. one half contented for once, the other terrified and stressed at the notion that for once you may have gotten something right. but these stars shine over this ocean each and every night. we are possessed by their grip on our waking state and even in our dreams we can just barely lift a portion of that weight. anyway, they disappear, upon the daily collision between reality and what we can envision.
9.
when my thoughts run out of control, it's unbeknownst to me. a temporary sigh of relief obscured in memory. tossing and turning all night, waking up under christmas lights. seems like the only way to be. i'm lettin time fly right on by and each moment I stumble into is long overdue. i'm lettin time fly too deep into the sky and each moment I stumble into is already in the rear view. when my dreams spin me around, I can barely see. low lows and higher highs and questions of degree. stare before miles of land flying high above. seems like the only way to be. when I watch the open road stretch out before me like a secret hiding place under a canopy of trees. i'll settle in this town if my car finally breaks down. seems like the only way I know how to be.

about

Alex: Drums
Gina: Bass, Cello, Vocals
Luke: Guitar, Vocals
Nina: Keyboard

credits

released April 28, 2017

Recorded and mixed by Dan and James on 2/25-2/26 in Philadelphia, PA. Mastered by Tyler Bisson at Audio Geography Studios. Artwork by Nina Rajagopalan.

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about

Cottontail Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Luke Romano - guitar, vocals

Members included at different times: Other Luke, Pat, Alex, Nina, Gina, Other Pat, and Liz.

melodic punk / sentimental anarchist pop

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